just watching bo burnham's special on loop forever i guess
27.06.21 | 9:48 pm
this body can run eight fucking miles at one time. it can do so many things. i am a chubby person and i am legitimately, for the most part, not even fucking bothered by it any more.
except when dating isn't going well.
and it's not.
that's when i find the thoughts start to creep in. that this must be the reason why. (even when i know that when i've been in bigger cities, i do much, much better.)
this weekend, last night, i sat with my lovely friends and we talked about all these horrific dating stories i have, and all these times when matt was perfectly shitty (but my friends didn't know because i did not tell them, which is relatively common for me).
god, it's so fucking reductive, but i am tired of being alone, and i'm so fucking tired of looking, and having to wade through these terrible conversations with terrible people.
i think it's time to quit again.