school schedule
10.07.21 | 10:33 am

things were feeling relatively better, and then i received my schedule for the next school year, which includes zero french classes (something i was really hoping for) and zero honors classes (which i normally have).

we have a new counselor making the schedule and i hate her now.

it’s overdramatic but without those, it really does feel useless to be here. alone again for another year. teaching low level classes for another year. not even being able to teach french when they told me if there were enough classes, i’d be able to (and it turns out there are SO MANY classes, way more than i expected).

went out to a bar with matthew last night and wanted so badly to meet new people and just ended up talking to the same ones forever.

i want to be touched and i want to feel like i have a future. something different to look forward to. i feel held back and as though i’ve made fifty wrong decisions.

my family is coming over tonight. we’ll drink and have fun and i’ll play with the kids and it will be great.

and it will pull me out of this, at least a little bit.

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