maybe the beginning of the end probably
25.08.21 | 5:42 pm

we've spent a month essentially talking together most of the day, every day, we've talked on the phone several times, we've gotten to know each other in this limited way.

and it's been lovely.

but now he's pulled back for the past few days. and i don't want to push it. i think it's slowly starting to come to its natural end.

it's ridiculous, i know, given everything. it's silly.

he does live 1,100 miles away.

but it's been incredibly nice to feel so connected to someone else in this way again. there was always a message to look forward to, some sort of incredibly kind compliment waiting for me. it was as though talking to him made me better think through my responses not only to him, but to other people, considering how i could be more supportive and loving.

and i want that.
i want that for real.

and i actually think i could have it again.
i actually think i might deserve it.

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