more of the same
02.10.21 | 10:09 am

got drunk last night (the level of which was an accident — i literally forgot to eat dinner somehow) and messaged some people on a dating app, felt sick to my stomach, still feel relatively terrible.

am obviously not ready for anything like that.

i drunkenly messaged one of my friends about how when i matched with james, i literally thought that he was so beautiful, there was no way he’d ever actually message me. and then he did. immediately.

a mere month ago, i wrote here about how life felt so open and wonderful, as though there were so many possibilities just awaiting me.

now it feels like everything is closing in on me again. like i don’t want to be here, in my tiny town, with nothing really to do and no one to see (unless i want to drive at least an hour away).

i feel stuck again. i feel like there’s nothing i can do about it. again.

this will pass, i know.

it is all going to pass. eventually. and this will just be another story in the back of my mind.

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