i still think about you before bed
09.10.21 | 9:33 pm

i know it’s fine. i’m no longer devastated. i don’t sit around hoping he might text me again one day.

i went overboard on dating apps and matched and started talking to a bunch of people. this is a negative tendency i have when i don’t want to have to be alone in my own brain.

but there is no instant connection like we had before. that’s really very rare. and i’m just chasing it and being disappointed over and over again.

it’s not terribly healthy, but at least i’m aware of it.

it’s just so hard and uncommon to actually connect with a stranger.

tomorrow is the last day of the break. what will i do?

it always comes back to wanting to be loved beyond the logic of it all. ridiculous as it is.

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