the future is bright
24.04.22 | 9:32 pm

there is so much to look forward to right now.

i haven't found myself so... what is this? at peace? in so long.

when i went to therapy the other day, i had so little to say (and it had been like that last time, as well) that we came to the conclusion that we'd have another session in june, and if things were still going well, that would be our last one.

i have learned so many helpful things through my short time in therapy. the way it has allowed me to look at my exercising habits and where i find my self-worth as been invaluable, honestly. i'm finally able to let myself relax a little. and when i feel the anxiety coming on, i have several tools to help me through it.

simply -- it is one of the best decisions i have made in a while, going to therapy.


this weekend, seth and i are taking off friday and going to red river gorge. we rented a sweet little cabin with a hot tub, and we've got hikes planned out for each day, and we're going to make super simple meals like spaghetti and nachos and drink wine and be outside. there's even a little fire pit, so i want to make s'mores.


there are so many things coming up. international food truck day, shakespeare in the park, cooking classes, the europe trip, the cabin trip, my niece's birthday, my sister-in-law's birthday and our out of school party...

i am so lucky. honestly, that's what it boils down to.

i love my family so much. travis and kelsey just announced that they're having another baby (!!!) which makes baby number four. i truly don't know if i can express how much i love these children.

and i think i've perhaps settled for a moment, anyway, on having children: i think i would legitimately be happy with a life without any children of my own, but being surrounded by my many nieces and nephews. maybe i'll change my mind in a few years and that's okay too. but at the moment... things feel so nice.


is it boring that i feel so good lately?

i have decided that i'm going to start working on my national board teaching certification, which is kind of cool.

and i'm teaching an enrichment summer school class (if i get anyone to sign up).


more and more: i love where i am. i love being so close to my family. i love my job and the fact that people there respect me and find me to be good at what i do.

more and more: i want a place i can call my own. and i want to be able to share it with people.

more and more: i find myself leaning towards domesticity in a way that feels foreign to me, but ... comforting.


i ran my five miles tonight at a pace that was a full minute faster per mile, too.

and seth and i spent an hour this morning in the sunshine walking his dog, annabel, in the park.

it is so lovely to have the temperature warming up outside. we're going to buy string lights for seth's patio so we can enjoy it outside this summer, just drinking wine and sitting and enjoying it.


i'll end with this:

there are so many sweet, quiet moments with seth.

this weekend: we were lying on the couch together, wrapped around each other, just... giggling like maniacs. we were pretending we were going to tickle each other and the anticipation caused the giggles to erupt and... it was just lovely.

we have a lot of fun together, and i feel very, very accepted, and i think that that counts for a lot.

<< | >>