lucky
13.09.22 | 9:11 pm


on the way home from our date, a song i hadn't listened to in years came on in the car, a song i associated with my time with matt.

it was a time when i would drive home from work listening to that album and just cry for the twenty-minute drive because i felt so lost and desperately wanted to go home.

i need to know
that when i fail you'll still be here
cause if you stick around
i'll sing you pretty sounds
and we'll make money selling your hair

but i don't care what's in your hair
i just wanna know what's on your mind
i used to say i wanna die before i'm old
but because of you i might think twice

it used to make me cry because i felt so incredibly not in love with matt in the way i wanted to be.

but tonight, driving home after a gyro mishap (two restaurants that were closed) until seth and i finally just walked into a surprise sushi place around the corner, after sharing a wine flight and looking at halloween costumes together, after playing a round of mini golf while drinking tiki drinks... it made me so happy to hear that song.

i feel so secure and, honestly, so very in love.

i want to be the best version of myself so that i can give him what he needs and what he wants. and i whole heartedly believe he feels to same way.

i am lucky.

lucky lucky lucky.


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