thoughts on health anxiety
12.12.22 | 5:33 pm


had a full week of being sick and i only ran twice (i know, i know) and i could feel the anxiety -- specifically the health anxiety -- creeping back in.

i honestly think there is no way for me forward without a moderate to intense exercise schedule in the future. i don't think my brain can handle it. time off or idle time leads me to think i'm dying, there must be something wrong, every little tiny normal thing (that means i am a human who lives in a body) suddenly points to my demise.

i guess it's good to know.

but it's... depressing? i don't know, to think about how this will stay with me.

how it is a part of me.

how it's never going away.


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