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21.12.22 | 8:06 am

without running, all the familiar worries creep back in: does this twinge in my finger mean i'm dying? does the subtle pain in the back of my head signal an aneurysm? will this scratchiness in my throat never go away?

i am more irritable. easier to anger or frustrate.

the negative thoughts take up residence in my brain.

all this to say, i'm going to run today regardless.

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just like last time: it is so... defeating, almost, to know that this is my brain. this is what it's like. and i just have to manage it.

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