the most frustrating thing about seth
31.01.23 | 7:29 am
this weekend, i got to see death cab again, and it was a fantastic show.
here is the only thing that makes me nervous about seth:
i have to worry the almost entire time we are out or with other people if he is actually having a good time. i get it, he is introverted, he doesn't really like being out and he gets anxious, but i will never stop going out with my friends. (not that he would ever ask me to because he wouldn't.) i want him to be able to go there and enjoy himself too. i don't want to look at him and see him standing with his arms crossed and a blank expression on his face. i don't want to see him get uncomfortable or mad when a stranger tries to talk to him who is truly just trying to be nice. i don't want to feel like i have to ask him fifteen times if he needs anything.
i swear that every weekend we do things with people, there is at least one night in bed where i am sad or frustrated that he just doesn't have a good time.
and i know it is a struggle for him.
but i need a partner who can go out with me and at least pretend to have a good time, at least attempt to join the conversation. i try to pull him into it by asking him questions, etc., and it's not that he doesn't want to talk, it's that he's totally fine just sitting there not saying anything.
if this is the worst i have to deal with, then it honestly can't be that bad.
but god.
i just want to have a good time without worrying about it. i want to feel like i can have conversations with strangers and he will jump in instead of looking perturbed. i want him to join in and participate in conversations with my friends.
i don't know.