now you see it...
2011-06-16 | 10:37 p.m.

i don't sleep well. i haven't in a long time. i sleep for hours (or for the appropriate amount) (or for less than i need) and i still wake up and feel exhausted, like i never get a break, like i'm never rested or have any energy at all. it's tiring.

when i get a free minute i want to sit on my bed or just close my eyes--each day before i go to work i'm on the couch falling asleep, that's not right. and i don't eat when i'm at work because i don't really get a free second, so when i get home at 9:30, 10:00pm, i have to eat, and then i'm up til midnight, and then i sleep til 9:00, and then i'm ready to do something by 10:30, and then i have to do stuff for work, then lunch, then it's 12:30 and i only have three hours til work, and i need to read the books for my summer classes or do something good for myself but instead i watch tv or get on the computer or something stupid. i feel horrible all of the time and i want to stop it but i feel like i can't at all.

i don't know, i don't ever know.

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i've been trying to teach myself how to french braid. my mom has done a lot of things right but one thing is for sure, that she never really put aside any time to teach me things like this...

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it still hurts. eric said one wrong thing to me yesterday and i cried for a half hour.

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