a weird way to start february
02.02.19 | 12:49 pm
all the while, i feel nothing. no excitement, no butterflies, no pleasure. just a sense of duty, just a sense of this is what they want, this is why i'm here, this is what i should do.
it's not my company you actually want.
how lonely it is, to recognize this.
i get nothing, absolutely nothing, in return. nothing except an anxiety-ridden mind the next day, a mind that won't stop whirling and whirling with the same thoughts:
--
there is nothing there for me
there is nothing there for me
there is nothing there for me