according to your notepad, you have a cleaner, which is weird, but you also make hella money, so.
05.04.19 | 11:31 am


last night, when i couldn't sleep due to a combination of the alcohol and your snoring, i opened a note on my phone and started writing everything down.

this is something i do often. if i have emotions that i know i will need to, at some point, work through, into my notes app they go.

after i finally slept in my own bed this morning, i added more. and more. and more.

it's a long note, full of fragments of memories that stick with me, full of the analysis of the night.

later today, i'm going to sort through them.

but for now:

-i am happy to report that i feel just fine.
-i have decided the key to everything is no expectations.
-i am happy, at least, to like/to have liked someone that i feel i would be "reaching" for, and not the other way around (which is how it always seems to go).
-i am pleased to confirm that you aren't some cold-hearted person.

nothing would ever work, anyway. michigan (possibly). france (possibly).

and the thing is: it doesn't need to.

not everything needs to have that goal of an ending.

i can move through the world, not overthink it, just go with how i feel in the moment, how we feel in the moment.

and it is okay.


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