constantly tired
23.07.20 | 6:02 am

i finished "raise high the roof beam, carpenters," last night, and again: what. a. story. the narration is truly incredible. the amount you're made to feel for these characters... i get so excited by it i can barely explain myself.

i hope i will finish "seymour: an introduction" today.


yesterday, i wanted to run a 10k. so i made it about 3.5 miles before i started getting a cramp in my left calf. i forced myself to keep running until i hit 5 miles.

it still hurts today.

i'm an idiot.

but it will be fine.


i was so exhausted last night that i was in bed at 8pm. i fell asleep pretty immediately and then woke up around 2:30 or 3am, stayed awake for around an hour after drinking a glass of water and scrolling on my phone, and promptly fell back to sleep.

my whole body just feels exhausted all of the time.

i mean, i think this is my fault. most days i literally work out for two hours.

and it's not necessary, i guess, but i weighed myself the past few days and i've been 2-3 lbs heavier than when i weighed myself when i first got home. so in creeps the fear.

god, how annoying.

i'm going to try to take a legitimate rest day today and only do yoga and walk emma, even though my brain is already inundating me with feelings of guilt.

maybe i will just laze around, practice french, and read all day. it's rainy outside anyway.


tanay reached out to me. he wants to see me again. invited me to his house one weekend. i could stay the night. etc.

but i legitimately don't know if i have the energy, especially since this type of arrangement isn't something i'm even interested in at the moment.

he is very, very cute though.

and the quarantine has me aching for some kind of simple touch: someone running their fingers through my hair, someone lightly touching the small of my back.


i'm so tired of waking up between 4:45-5:45am each morning to teach. i will be so thrilled to have a "real" paycheck again, even if only for a couple of months.

honestly, it's 7:21am now, i have one more class to teach, and i already just want to go back to sleep.

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