rhum coca
10.09.20 | 9:40 pm

i've been reading normal people and stopping often to write down quotes that i love or that speak to me. i feel like this book is reaching deep in my soul. all i ever want is this kind of connection.


i'm going to spend the weekend at my friend rachel's. we will probably just stay at her new house and do lots of tarot and life planning and complaining and maybe eat baked potatoes. i am looking forward to it even though i am very tired this week and the drive is gonna make me very tired too. that's okay. it's worth it.


i've gotten some new tutors and those along with my old tutors have been basically rating my french level on the cefr scale. i have gotten from all of them definitely: "at least B2 (upper intermediate)" but also "possibly C1 (advanced)", with some throwing in "study more grammar for a more sure C1" essentially. that is very cool to me. i have such a problem where i think if i'm not perfect at something, it must mean i'm terrible. but look at how much i've improved! most of my podcasts are in french and half of my youtube subscriptions are too. and i can usually just watch these or listen to them without a problem. how crazy is that?

of course then i'll have days like today where i have a headache and it's harder to focus and i feel like i don't understand anything.

life am i right

but my new tutor left me a review (i didn't even know they could leave students reviews) and it was very nice; he said, "very pleasant and a great level of french! grammar learned, just some vocabulary to enrich and a little practice :)"


i think chicago (closest visa center to me) is actually no longer issuing visas, which is annoying and means i'll have to go to atlanta or fly to dc or something, if i ever even get my work contract, which i haven't yet.

there are talks to lockdown again in france's red zones, which the city i was in is technically in now.

idk, i don't like being in this weird flux. i mean i guess nobody does. we like security for a reason. but i'm trying really hard just to go with it.

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