13.09.20 | 2:34 pm

i no longer have access to any bit of you

still no word from france

my parents might be getting custody of my niece

if that does happen (hell even if it doesn't) it makes it harder to justify leaving

she just needs some stability

her parents have never given her that

we have, more than anyone

idk, i'm upset about it all

need to sit down and write goals tonight

need to plan out some things for my life

need to figure out what i'm doing more than anything

today tito told me that he missed lockdown because he was so at peace with himself

and then i think about how i was during lockdown

which was... the absolute opposite feeling

i am so embarrassed in so many ways of how i acted during that time

but i am also very forgiving of myself about it

because i was completely alone

for so long

so exhausted

and i am still dealing with the after effects of it all

and the current effects of it all

i guess we all are

i should go do yoga, or read, or something

i just wish you would message me

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