feelings
23.09.20 | 7:41 pm
and it is.
but i'm also already mourning the possibility (the likelihood) that i'm not going back to france this year, and recognizing that means living another year in a very small town, likely very single, until the end of next summer.
(ask me on a different day, hell, at a different time, and i am a lot more okay with it.)
and even though i've been okay about this for a week or so, ever since you responded after not messaging back for two days, i can't deny that a tiny part of it is mourning the loss of whatever this was and whatever it could have been. (regardless of what i did or did not invent, regardless of what was or was not real.)
i can honestly say most of the time i'm okay. i am keeping myself busy even though i am here at home. but tonight it is hitting me hard again.
but it'll pass.