i've got to stop being so mean to myself all the time
26.09.20 | 8:45 pm

i struggled a lot today.

i woke up, walked emma for an hour, did my hour long french lesson, went to buy all the baby shower stuff for tomorrow. all of that was great and on my list of things to do.

but when i came home, my brother and my nephew were here. and a few hours later, his wife and my niece came too.

and i spent all of my time, until about 7pm, with them.

i didn't run. i didn't do my strength training. i didn't do yoga (though i'm about to do that now).

and all day, it has been a constant barrage of insults in my head about it. it has been me telling myself to calm down, that i will do those things tomorrow, that taking this time to spend with family is, at this moment, more valuable.

on top of that, i did not do the work i should have done to set myself up for this week (students come back in person, on an a/b schedule, on monday). so i will be behind on that as well, since i will (somehow) have to do my run, strength training, and emma walk, along with my shower/getting ready before i have to help clean and set up for the shower, and then throw that for a few hours, and then clean it all up again.

i can recognize, logically, that i am "having a tough time" at the moment.

i can also recognize, logically, that it won't last forever.

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