heart palpitations
28.11.20 | 9:16 pm
my limbs felt light and almost as if they were going to fall asleep.
i had to calm myself down as i felt light headed and my heart just beat and beat and beat.
it subsided after five or ten minutes.
some kind of heart palpitations.
a panic attack? out of nowhere?
all day, my chest has felt ... tired. picking up emma was difficult. i don’t know if it’s worse because i’m focusing on it, but it’s hard to not focus on it.
i am hoping i will go to sleep and feel normal, more normal, in the morning. i have to drive seven and a half hours home.
i am getting a doctor’s appointment for this week but.
what the fuck.
it didn’t help that i was sitting there thinking, “this would be an unfortunate way to die, and i don’t want to die.”
i’m sure it doesn’t help that my death anxiety has been flaring, that my sister-in-law told me about all the wrecks she’s known of recently right before i started the drive, that my dad always focuses on things like that.
i don’t know.