vaccines and babies
21.09.21 | 5:40 pm

my dad finally got his first vaccine dose today (after being one of those people who talked about how he wouldn't get it, especially if the government required it, etc. etc.). a basketball player (who my brother coaches)'s dad just died of covid last night. and my dad has friends who are in the hospital, who are on ventilators. so now, he thinks, is the time.

and i'm so thankful that he (and my mom, who is reluctantly vaccinated as well) finally made this choice, but i'm still... angry? that it took this long? that he had to see all of that up close and personal before he believed it?

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and my new baby niece was born today! it's so lovely. i love getting to see my family have their own little families, and i love their children beyond measure. i'm so excited.

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things with james are weird. he's avoiding me. says he is "really trying to take care of a couple things and it's taking a lot of effort and headspace."

this, after i had drafted a stupid message last week to ask him to meet me in person. (mostly thanks to him bringing up a brewery we should go to in cincinnati, among other things.)

here is the thing i am at ease about here: i know, based on things he's told me, sent me, etc., that there are feelings there. that legitimately could not be disputed. i am not crazy.

but i don't think this will move any further. there's a lot he's not telling me. and he doesn't have to.

and there's the whole 1,000 miles away thing.

anyway... this is probably good in the long run. i probably need some time to myself.

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