first wave of sadness.
24.01.15 | 9:49 pm

and today is the first day the sadness hits me.

this morning, matt and i were walking emma and i told him it was sofi and john's anniversary.

he thought that was my brother, then he couldn't even remember which brothers are getting married this summer.

i get it. i have five brothers. four of them have girlfriends/fiancees/wives, and then there are kids.

but we've been dating over a year. at this point it's pathetic to not know my brothers' names.

so i cried for a while and left the apartment to go work out.

now i'm thinking about how i really would like to cut my hair because it's driving me nuts. but i'm five months away from flying back to kentucky, back to my mom who cuts my hair.

no one else has ever cut my hair before.

and i'm sad.

and it's cold.

and i'm alone.

and i worked all day online and it hurts my brain.

it's not a good night.

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