26.10.15 | 7:59 pm

my general state right now is exhausted. i mean, it's only 8pm and i am literally falling asleep on this couch, even though i have more work to do.

my boss keeps saying cryptic things like, "we'll be getting you squared away in january," which sounds to me like, "we'll be making your position full time." i want that to be true, but i also don't want my hopes up.

currently, i am teaching 24 hours per week, planning for about 8-10 hours per week, doing administrative work 10 hours per week, and working on my online job about 6 hours per week. so i'm really averaging about 50 hours per week, but if you count my commute, it's actually closer to 60.

and i'm trying so hard to eat healthy and work out consistently and walk the dogs and what have you, on top of reminding myself that i need to practice french/learn spanish and oh also maintain any relationships i currently have.

is this what the real world is like? because i don't know it.

on the plus side, i've currently paid off almost $5,500 on my student loan this year, and by the end of the year, it should be $7,000, which means i'll be over halfway through my loan in one year even though it's supposed to take 10 years to pay off!

basically, if this position turns into full time, i might actually be able to quit that online job, have health insurance (hurray!), move closer so that my commute isn't so hellish (and save gas), continue to have my loan paid off by the end of next year, and still have money, i guess.

my worry is this: they will offer me full time for something ridiculous like $25,000 (which is roughly $5,000 less than what i make teaching there already) and expect me to be happy with it.

i am already rehearsing my reaction to this, which is, "i quit."

okay, okay, i guess i need to go do some work, although i'd rather sleep because i'm wearing matt's new pajama pants and they're the comfiest things in the world.

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