almost light
22.01.19 | 4:34 pm

i haven't had much to write because my mind has been quieter. of course, this coincides with my deciding to focus on myself and to not date anyone until i've turned twenty-nine. when i'm not worrying about these things, i am happier. calmer. more boring, but in a good way.

a few things i've decided: i'm trying to be "more open" to the world. more open to talking to strangers. more open to trying new things. more open to opportunities.

there is a salsa dancing night that i really want to go to that has a thirty-minute beginners lesson before just letting people dance. i don't think i have anyone who would want to go with me, so i may just go on my own. it says you don't need a partner to participate so... why not? (i am a really bad dancer. it is really, really hard for me to let go. but i want to try.)

i guess that's the point though, isn't it? i want to, in this way, move through my life without a true goal. i mean: i don't want to always be thinking, will i find someone to love? i want to approach people in general with excitement to listen and learn. i want to be happy to get out of my comfort zone. it feels good, this idea.

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i currently have tickets this year to see: weezer and the pixies (with ryan seth and morgan), death cab for cutie (with sue), jason isbell (with rachel), and the mountain goats (with... myself, though i did buy two tickets just in case).

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mary oliver died. she is my favorite poet. i recommend "wild geese" (of course), "the roses", and really the entirety of american primitive.

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i am getting a massage on saturday and thank god, because the tension in my shoulders has been pulling me physically down, crunching me up into a rounded little ball.

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i don't really have anything more to say. i want to write but there's nothing there, which, actually, i think is a good thing. i feel... almost light. almost light.

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